Denver. One of the many problems of last years Denver Demons has solved itself this year. Well, we are not talking about KvM's appetite or the lousy performances of the team. All that still presents a huge problem.
So on to the one good news: The team used to play in front of 11.000, 13.000 or maybe 14.000 fans in the Great Divide Arena. Not much fun for the players and not much fun for the Demons' financial division either.
Well, numbers went up this season, average attendance is up to more than 17.000. Just 2000 seats to fill...
And now to the uggly part.
To those who don't attend: Good job, guys.
To those 17.000 who do attend Demons' games: Wouldn't you like to see a convincing win for once?
Bottom line: The Demons suck. They are 8-13, that's shameful. They have traded away their first rounder, that's a catastrophe in the making.
To make things worse: The Demons had a home heavy schedule so far. But they went a disastrous 7-7 in Denver. And it still get's worse: on the road the team is a joke, 1-6 after 7 games. 1-6 mind you.
The sole win having been a 95-81 at the Highlanders. That win put the Demons at 7-7 back then, but ever since everything is going downhill.
So you could say the Demons are like a car running on four flat tiers. But as ususal the biggest problem is the fat guy in the drivers seat.
"Me? A problem?", KvM shouted at our staff writer on that remark. "I am fighting a giant fight here, but I am surrounded by lousy players, uggly women, incompetent coaches and worst of all bad cooks. Man, I am so fed up with everything."
Well, we all know that can't mean food. But it sure means the Demons. The team seems on the verge of breaking up and the rumors in the locker room about big name trades in the making do not help to make things any better.
Rumor is that KvM has been conducting what he calls "trade dinners" about, fasten your seatbelts, both Quinten Bryson and Greg Fore. Add Charles Lao and Sean Remington and you know that no one is safe in Denver anymore. But rumors about those four players leaving the Demons just won't stop.
Especially a trade of Quinten Bryson, Denver's household name and THE player of the team, would send shockwaves through the city that could be even more than milehigh and almost as high as the usual pizza mountain KvM is having for lunch everday.
To bring a little sense into the madness, here's a voice of reason. The great QB himself had this to say: "I always felt like I belong here in Denver."
That's our hero.
But even a hero can't dismiss the rumors: "I would love to stay and help turning my Demons into a contender", Quinten Bryson says. "I know, it sounds like a long stretch. Right now we are not playing to our standards, but I still believe we can make the playoffs. Do I want to win a ring some day? Who doesn't? Are there better places for that than Denver? Right now, yeah, of course. But imagine what it would mean if we could build a champ from ground up?!"
And what about the troubles with upcoming star Greg Fore? Poker nights? Locker room brawls?
QB: "There is a lot of bullshit floating through the media. Things have been made up or they were blown out of proportion. We get along fine, and I can't see why him and me can't be part of something great. We added Charly Cazares to the mix this offseason. Give the guy a learning year and you will see what he can do. We all need a bit more time to grow as a unit. Patience is the key. I'd love to have a GM not losing his nerves."
And still. Rumors are floating around that Bryson despite all his loyalty to Denver will soon wear different colors. Or you could say: he will have to wear them.
Even Fore is in the middle of a trade rumor, his agent has lately been seen at the East Coast meeting the GM of a OBWL power house.
And KvM? He's the man who could end all those rumors or, let's dream for a minute, even come up with a coherent strategy for the Demons.
Okay, reality check. Instead KvM came up with this: "You whining journalists suck! You and your skinny uggly wifes. I hate you. All of you."
And on it went: "Change is life, life is change, baby. Everything changes. Da Mario changed his menu, I changed my taste from Burgers to huge Burgers, from seafood pasta to pasta with even more seafood on it. And now you are bothering me with players? They suck, all of them", von Meyerinck shouted at our reporter. And went on: "They can grab their stupid fake titty wannabe model wives and go to hell. Or to the Enforcers. Okay, that's the same, but still."
And once on a roll, KvM had this to add: "I don't care about Brysons lame ass talk about loyalty and buildings full of patience. I don't get it. I want buildings full of food. Anyhow, players will leave when I say so. That's the beauty about being a GM. That and lifetime private seat at Da Mario. Other than that there is no beauty in Denver. End of story."
Worst thing of all: it's not the end of the story. It might rather be the beginning of a terrible big bang.