New Jersey Evolution Press Releases

  • Mazzy Star +

    And they say everybody steals somebody's heart away And I've got nothing more to say about it Nothing more than you would me Anybody who expects some sort of gangsta rap playing in the background, while having an interview with Kevin Mazzola, is in for a surprise. A mixture of sadness and beauty is the soundtrack of his life. And is there a better way to describe his current season with the New Jersey Evolution? "Somebody gave me a record of them years ago as a present. She just went by the name of the group. Mazzy Star - that was close enough to a guy with my name who was on his way to sign his first big contract as Read More
  • The Big Bang Theory +

    NEW JERSEY - So what happened before the Big Bang? Science has an answer to what everything looked like a fraction of a second after it began. But before? Did something come out of nothing? Did a Big Brunch lead to the Big Bang? Nobody knows. Well, nobody outside of New Jersey - where fans are still waiting for the Evolution to begin. It's a waiting game for the Big Bang. And it ain't pretty. The New Jersey Evolution started its first season with a record of 1-9 - which looks familiar from when the team was called Enforcers. Yes, there are explanations for it. The schedule was (and still is) extremely road-heavy. Minor injuries to two centers caused gameplanning problems. Cohesion is Read More
  • What's new? +

    In New Jersey, it's a new season. A new name. And a new team. Having gone into free agency with a league-high $40 million to spend, the New Jersey Evolution tries to get back some respect from the rest of the league - after a horrifying nine-wins-only-season. But how much reason for hope is there really? Let's take a look. PG David Bouchard (26, $4.6 million) never started a game in the OBWL so far. But his perfomance as a Demons backup persuaded the Evolution to put him into the spotlight. Bouchard lacks speed, but he is a good defender with a very balanced offensive game. A smart decision maker between passing and shooting. Troy Benson (25, $4 million) was overwhelmed Read More
  • Go home - and never come back! +

    NEW JERSEY - It's over! If something that never started is able to actually have a finish. The so-called "season" of the New Jersey Enforcers ended with 9 wins and 71 losses. NINE WINS! 71 LOSSES!!! In the last home game of the season, the Portland Lumberjacks were beaten 103-86. 3,622 fans showed up. Sad. "We played in this league, but we were never really part of it. It was good for our rookie Julius Atherton who got way more playing time than under any under circumstances. But besides that, it was a real grasp into the toilet, as we say in German", says GM Marco Heinrich. It took the franchise just a few games to realize that there was nothing Read More
  • Change. The. Name. +

    NEW JERSEY - All Star Break is just over - and the Enforcers' plans for free agency have already been set. It's that kind of a season. The only "success" was the mere total clearance of cap space for the upcoming bidding war. The few fans that (for whatever strange reason) still show up for the home games in New Jersey, found a new chant, though. "Change. The. Name." is what they are singing, as soon as the Enforcers trail by more than 10 points. Which means, they are singing it quite frequently. "This franchise needs a new start. Everybody who hears our current name has images of failure and embaressment in his head. This needs to stop. We're going to get Read More
  • OBWL's Who-Isn't-Who +

    NEW JERSEY - "We're all gone", is one of the famous lines in the TV series "The Leftovers". Which just nails the situation of the New Jersey Enforcers. Everybody's gone. The rest of the team? Leftovers. Horace Robinson is back in Los Angeles. Motya Kamensky is back in Toronto. And the Enforcers have only $13 million cap of its cap space in use going into the next offseason. Even for a team that is used to hit restart quite frequently, this is news. It's ground zero. The mother of rebuilding. Nobody knows, how the team is going to look like next season. A starting five with Charles Cazares, Richard Burke II, Timothy Adler, Thomas Stanley, and Jorge Denis is possible. It Read More
  • The only way is... up? or nowhere? +

    NEW JERSEY - When animals realise that they have no chance in a fight, they sometimes play dead in order for their attackers to lose interest. Welcome to the season of the New Jersey Enforcers. After playing .500 ball in the first quarter of the season, infamous GM Marco Heinrich made some moves that sent his team back to the unpromised land. "Blame me! This season, I deserve it. I thought, we needed more offense to become a real player in the OBWL. As it turned out, guys like Ean Kariger, Mckinley Brownin, and Duncan Mitchell probably should have stayed", said Heinrich. The result was a 26-54 season. Crap. And a policy that forbid lineup changes for the most part in Read More
  • Should I stay? Should I go! +

    NEW JERSEY - After a stretch of eight away games in nine matchups, the New Jersey Enforcers sit at a record of 7-10. Not good, if you wanna compete for a playoff spot. Not bad, taking into account that it took the team 40 games to win seven one year ago. "We're in the mix. If we can beat teams like the Highlanders in one out of two games, we should be alright", says "Che" Robinson - who does well, considering that he's playing an unusual role at SG. This season features yet another start-from-the-scratch-approach in New Jersey. According to GM Marco Heinrich, it was supposed to be the last one. But it seems like the players don't quite follow that lead. Read More
  • "Let's be realistic. Let's do the impossible!" +

    NEW JERSEY - After winning no more than 23 games in 2019, fans in New Jersey thought, things couldn't get worse with the Enforcers. Well, they could. They did. Last season's 16-win-only-campaign was a complete disaster. Not even the president twittered about it. Sad. Now, same procedure as every year, GM Marco Heinrich fields a completely changed lineup. Will one of OBWL's most troubled franchises finally find a way to be something else than the league's doormat? This is the team that is going to try: Center: Trevor Jolley (John Cogswell, Fernando Turner) The Enforcers are currently in pain, Trevor Jolley knows what that feels like. After being a starter at Kansas City for five seasons, he played two disappointing years Read More
  • The Season of the Cauthen +

    NEW JERSEY - The New Jersey Enforcers were the hottest shit in the OBWL. For just a few moments. After beating the Swing and the Sharks. Two wins in a row - it has been the longest winning streak of the season. And it ended in another manhood-shrimpling performance against the Coyotes. 84-103. 8-36 free throws. 8-36! In a home game. It is a dead season for the Enforcers. It was not meant to be the year of Rudy Akamine. Or Gene Cantell's. Or Blake Cobb's. Instead, it became the year of William Cauthen. William Who? Scouts say, the 25 year old is a real threat from the free throw line. And isn't that great when your team gets eight free trips Read More
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