Friday, 28 December 2018 16:00

Chucks Blog Vol X: A bathtube killing game one for the Demons

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Your blogger: Chuck Tankman, Denver Demons insider. The 63 year old Denver native is writing this blog for a single purpose: telling the truth about the Demons and consequently chasing GM Klaus von Meyerinck out of office.



Sometimes it's hard to keep track with all the developments happening in Denver. For the first time ever the Demons made it to the OBWL finals, they escaped a first round loss against the Inferno, they beat an injury riddled London Knights and they even swept the Vancouver Highlanders who until then had done the Demons the biggest favor by beating the Toronto Huskies, a team which had owned Denver so far.

Be that as it may, after a 4-3 versus Honolulu, a 4-1 versus London and a 4-0 over Vancouver the Demons made it to the OBWL finals the first time ever where they have to face what many in the league think to be the best overall team in the St. Louis SunKings.

And as we write it, all merits are history already since Denver travelled to St. Louis yesterday and lost it.

Denver lost the game 109-113, Denver lost a golden, maybe one time opportunity, and Denver lost "it".

Meaning: The Demons were up front by over 20 until the third quarter, a surprisingly strong showing of what the team is capable of doing if it is left alone.

Or if GM Klaus von Meyerinck stays in his lounge, entertaining his female muscle prostitutes, his BBW prostitutes and whatever scum is being allowed in his luxury suite that he rented in St. Louis. Needless to say KvM did not allow any member of the Demons organisation in there.

So things went well until in the third quarter when the GM must have decided to interfere.

And from that point on things went terribly wrong.

Well, what do you expect when, according to several witnesses in the lounge and almost 20.000 enthusaistic SunKings fans lateron this is what took place:

- In his lounge KvM all of a sudden shouted "I don't wanna beat that austrian dude, I wanna humilate him and his uggly team. He's sitting on his mountain in the alps and is shitting in a canyon since they are barbarians. Destroy them!"

- KvM decided to "go in"

- KvM had four muscle ladys carrying and ancient steel bath tube to the sidelines next to the Demons' bench

- KvM decided to sit in that bath tube full of fishmac sauce taking a kind of bath or whatever insane ritual went on there

- KvM decided to do so almost naked, just dressed in boxers. The shorts were showing an imprint of the Demons logo right on the front, reading "World's biggest Demon"

- KvM interfered in the game shouting at Denver's headcoach Bo Balzer "Shut up, pussy, I'm taking over"

- From then on KvM was being heard shouting and yelling at his team non stop, but just things like "Foul them!", "Hurt them", "Kill that sob"

- The Demons slowly but tragically unstoppably lost it. First their nerves, then their discipline, after the ensuing fouling orgy even their players like C Darin Deans, who, visibly unnerved by KvM's constant sideline lunatics, fouled like crazy and finally had to leave the game early after fouling out. And finally they lost the game.

- When KvM realized that, Demons 109-113 behind with not even 20 seconds to go and Larry Burt's desperate 3 point shot not hitting the net, he was overheard shouting "Kill that Dong, I got the only dong" and finally "If we can't beat them, hurt them, hurt them"

-Finally Denver's GM was carried out of the building by his female escorts, still sitting in his bath tube, throwing fishmac sauce at the fans. And no one dared to say whether he was fuming out of his mouth with lunacy finally having got the better of him or whether he was just covered with fishmac sauce.

So in the end, what do we have at this point?

We got a Denver team that held up well, even played great but wasted a possible roadwin away by running amok, offering St. Louis 48, yes, 48 free throws on a silver platter.

We got Greg Fore whose stellar 48 (!) point performance went to waist and who reportedly demanded a trade right away once back in the locker room.

We got a C Darin Deans who was visibly shaken and apologized to his teammates.

We got a HC Bo Balzer who frantically was shouting at owner James Anderson: "It's him or me", "If he attends another game we will never win this".

We got a Demons' team that will somehow have to pull it together tonight and not only play the offensive powerhouse SunKings again but will have to beat ten SunKings, the heated atmosphere and the own GM.

We got that crazy GM who already anounced his every intention to take the game into his own hands, this time "right away" from the start and who has ordered not only a bathtube this time, but a portable whirlpool.

And finally we probably got a new champion not named Denver if this continues...


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